yeah, yeah, yeah, And everybody has one. JUST DON'T BE ONE!
Good morning friend's. As we continue out "taking senior citizen mom shopping" seminar please note that all of my learned experience will no doubt need tweaking here and there. We all love our mom's and all of our mom's are as different as we. However, I do believe this little guideline will help the majority of you. Especially those whom for what ever reason have not been doing this little chore for decade's and have forgotten some basic, brain cell saving, pretty common sense rule's and guideline's. I pray this does indeed help.
Moving from the house to the car. Ok, sound's simple. WRONG! You can get that first piss off started here quicker that anything discussed in our last meeting. The wrong move's that can be made here are really in Carl Sagen number's, but I'm too old and your one of the three friend's that we read each other's stuff! [hi james, kathy] FIRST, never under any circumstance's say any form of the following: "Mom, you bout' ready to go?" Classic rookie mistake. You've just set yourself up for a, "You in a hurry or somethin'?" Or, "Ready, I been waitin' on you for a hour and a half!" Trust me, the move toward the car is so deadly... When mom say's "Well, you ready to go buy um out?" A crisp "Yes mam" and you go TO the car. DO NOT wait and allow yourself to be the person responsible for locking the house door you exit. Another 'bush league' mistake. And, before I forget, not even as a joke, PLEASE, don't get a few mile's from the house and say, "Mom, did you turn the coffee maker off?" Hell, I'm a young man, in relation, and I would slap you silly for saying something like that! Once your both seated do not rush, or drag around starting the car. I like to use Sousa here. From the time your mom is seated until you start the car, the introduction to "Black Horse Troop" works wonderfully. For the other 98% of you who are lost right now, (Sousa? Don't he play baseball for somebody? Sammy Sousa?), it's ok. Mom sit's, do the National Anthem, USA, down to the word early, then start the car. For my friend's up north, well crap, all I can remember is Oh Canada. Ok, just do those two word's, in rhythm twice, plus one more Oh. Ok, my head is starting to hurt, and I need to water the garden. Don't fear! Unless you have to take senior citizen mom to five store's in the next two or three day's, I'll have you more prepared that you could ever imagine. Jd later peace
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